Pleasing Others

I’m a people pleaser

I always try to do my best

I’m a people pleaser

Even if that means not getting rest

I’m a people pleaser

I never say no

I’m a people pleaser

I will even help my foe

I’m a people pleaser

I’m recovering and learning more

I’m a people pleaser

To be myself is what I’m yearning for

I’m a people pleaser

I will learn that I can’t please everyone

I’m a people pleaser

Because I’m me, I’m the only one

Connecting the Physical with the Spiritual

Hello my lovely readers! I know it’s been a while but I’m going to try my best to get back on my game and post a few times a week. Anyways, I was inspired by something today and I wanted to write about it. I thoroughly hope you enjoy today’s little snippet into my life and how it correlates with my testimony and God.

It was a nice sixty five degrees today and in November, that’s fantastic. So my grandpa, my mom and I decided to take a hike. There is place we usually hike at called Pere Marquette. Pere means Father. And Marquette comes from Jacques Marquette who was a French missonary who discovered the Grafton area along with the aid of Louis Jolliet. Grafton is the northern portion of the Mississippi River valley for those of you who don’t know where this is.

Now, continuing my story, we went hiking on this beautiful day and I brought my digital camera to take pictures of Nature and the trail. So, me being out of shape I wanted to stop constantly. It felt like it was every few seconds where I was complaining about being out of breath, or my calves hurting. There was even a point where I tried to convince my grandpa and mom that I wanted to go back and sit at the lodge. They encouraged me to keep going and begrudgingly I did so. Eventually we made it to the top of the hill where it was very rewarding to see the river and the sun shining down on us.

On my way down the trail I soon realized that downhill wasn’t so bad and I was used to walking at this point. I also realized that this could be correlating with my spirit man. So many times I wanted to give up and so many times I complained that I couldn’t do it or I was too tired to try. But I realized that this could be used as a supernatural awakening for me as well. God is always there for us even when we don’t want to try or when we want to give up. But the road ahead gets easier with his help. Now don’t get me wrong it’s not always easy. There’s always steps and uphill trails that will make us become tired or out of breath.

In conclusion, God is a mighty and awesome God. He’s there when we need him and he’s there to help lead us through the hard trails and trials that life has ahead of us. He’s never left us and he knows we want to look back and go the way we came but he encourages us to just keep moving forward. Remember you are special and cared about by God and others. May God bless you all.

Perfectionism: The Disadvantages of Wanting to be Faultless.

“We are not perfect human beings, nor do we have to pretend to be, but it is necessary for us to be the best version of ourselves we can be.” – Author Unknown

A perfectionist, by definition, means “a person who refuses to accept any standard short of perfection”. We all strive to be perfect but we fall short, because we are unapologetically human. There are different types of perfectionists but each one can be harmful to you mentally.

You can be self oriented: perfectionism based off of keeping strict standards for oneself and avoiding failure. You can be other oriented: setting perfectionist expectations for others. And lastly you can be socially prescribed: belief that others expect you to be perfect.

Whether you are judging others or yourself on being perfect, it can lead to stress and low self esteem. “Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical and unhappy, and suffer from low self-esteem. They can also be lonely or isolated as their critical nature and rigidity can push others away as well. “ -Verywell Mind

Most perfectionists have black or white thinking. Personally, I know this struggle. Black and White thinking means one thinking one extreme to the other. For example, a perfectionist either can really hate the art work they created or they can think that it’s the best thing they’ve ever made. Most of the time, however it is the fact that even if it is their best, that it’s not good enough.

I struggle with being a perfectionist myself. I feel as if I will never be as good as others so why try? It’s a toxic trait to have, but I have learned that there are ways you can handle trying to be perfect. I have 6 examples of how you can come to terms with being yourself, without the pressure of being an unsurpassable person.

1. Create realistic goals

2. Dispute the negative thoughts

3. Prioritize self care

4. Practice saying no more often

5. Make sure to take time to recharge

6. Don’t multitask all the time, only when you’re comfortable with it

Being a perfectionist can be good at times when you strive to do your best, but when you obsess over trying to be flawless, then it becomes a problem. Perfectionism becomes a problem when it fuels anxiety and depression. It can make someone feel like they are never good enough, or they can’t enjoy the present accomplishment because they’re worried about future failure. Any mistake affects them on a deeply personal level. I feel this deeply as I struggle everyday with trying my best without beating myself up for not being perfect.

Being a perfectionist isn’t all bad at times. By wanting to be your best you’re motivated by fear of failure rather than a desire for success. High achievers tend to reach toward their goals because they’re driven by a desire to succeed. Perfectionists push themselves because they fear how others will perceive them if they’re anything less than the best.

Therefore, being a perfectionist isn’t always easy, but it is possible to manage. Just remember to not put yourself down for not being completely perfect. You are human, and you have the room to make “happy little accidentsl”. You are special and cared about. May God bless you all

Being Gentle with Yourself: Taking Time to Heal

“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars; you have a right to be here. In the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.” – Author Unknown

Being gentle with ourselves means giving ourselves permission not to be the best that’s humanly possible, but rather to do the best we can right now. It’s impossible to be “perfect”, so being the greatest person alive is a goal that’s sadly unachievable.

As most of you may have noticed, I have not posted in 3 days when my goal was to post every day. I was beating myself up every hour that passed that I did not post something. I was NOT being gentle with myself in the slightest. That is, until a dear friend of mine reminded me that it’s okay to take it easy and be kind to yourself. So, that is why today’s topic is being gentle with yourself and giving yourself time to heal.

You may ask, well how can I be more gentle with myself? How can I give myself room to heal? It’s a question I ask every day! I’ve learned there are 8 ways you can be more gentle with yourself.

1. Consider your mistakes as part of a learning process

2. Don’t compare yourself to others

3. Be loyal to your values, even if it means being unpopular

4. See the past as an adventure

5. Don’t underestimate your talents

6. Surround yourself with people that inspire you

7. Express your anger creatively

8. Celebrate every success

Being gentle with yourself is imperative in finding peace and joy in your life. It’s beneficial for you to make room for mistakes. As Bob Ross once said, “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents”. I think what he says is a nice way of looking at our “mishaps”. To be kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others. I’ve learned the hard way about being harsh on myself when I do something wrong.

Not being kind to yourself can even cause physical stress on your body. According to the National Institute of Mental Health , stress in your life, even caused by being hard on yourself, can cause physical ailments. “Health problems can occur if the stress response goes on for too long or becomes chronic, such as when the source of stress is constant, or if the response continues after the danger has subsided. With chronic stress, those same life-saving responses in your body can suppress immune, digestive, sleep, and reproductive systems, which may cause them to stop working normally.” – NIMH

In conclusion, being considerate of your own feelings and lenient towards “happy little accidents” can prove to be valuable to your health. Remember, you are NOT alone. You can always reach out to someone you can trust or myself if you can’t seem to be kind to yourself. You are special and cared about. If you ever need a reminder, look back on this post and recite the 8 steps to being more gentle with yourself. May God bless you all.

Taking Medication Does Not Make You Weak: A controversial topic

Trigger Warning: Mentions of abusing medicine, self harm, and suicide attempts

A medication is a substance that is taken into or onto your body and is used to cure a disease or condition. Now medication for mental health is a little bit different. Some would say that it’s not important to take medication for a mental illness, but I would have to disagree. Although it doesn’t cure your mental illness completely, taking medicine is VERY important. In this post, I will explain not facts, but my opinion on why it’s imperative to get on the right medication, and stay on it.

My journey with medicine started at a young age. I would always have a cold and would use cough medicine. I always knew that medicine would help me feel better. I always had that positive relationship with medicine. I never abused it and would take it as I needed it. At about ten years old I began to be depressed. Very depressed. My grandma had passed away and I was being bullied at school as well. I began taking random pills to help me go to sleep, pass out for a while. It wasn’t often. Maybe once or twice a month I did that. Then, things began to turn into a downward spiral. As I got older, more traumatic things started happening and I began to self harm and take more random medications to make myself feel better for just a moment. That’s when it happened. My first suicide attempt. I took a handful, and I mean a large handful of pills to ensure I wouldn’t wake up, but I did. I was furious and wanted to try again but I knew I should try my best to keep going. I wanted to try for my mom and my sisters.

I continued to abuse medicine and self harm and it just kept getting worse. I began to go to therapy and was misdiagnosed with bipolar 2 disorder. I was on the wrong medicine and it made me more depressed and cranky. I was in and out of the psychiatric hospital a lot and was getting the wrong medicine, no matter how many times they changed it. I began to lose hope in medicine. I stopped taking my medication and started to go down a deeper hole than I was before.

I went to a different hospital near me and told them I thought I was misdiagnosed so they evaluated me and over 10 days they gave me medicines that fit a new diagnoses. Finally I was diagnosed CORRECTLY and given the right medicine.

It does not make you weak or stupid or a drug seeker to take medication for mental health. It’s like saying someone with cancer shouldn’t get chemotherapy, or someone with a physical ailment shouldn’t take the proper medicine. Mental health is very important and staying on your medicine and not abusing it, like I had in the past, is the principal key to staying mentally healthy. It took me two years total on psych medicine to get it right. Some people it takes a longer time, some people it takes less time. Everyone is different. You might take different medicine than someone else you know, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t work. Communicate with your doctor, psychiatrist, or therapist that your meds aren’t working or if you’re not yet taking medicine, ask if they think it would be a wise decision to help you.

It’s okay if you need meds every day. I take pills every day, and I’m no longer ashamed of it. I know I need them and I take them just as I would if I needed cough medicine. In retrospect, I wish I wouldn’t have abused it, but now I have learned my lesson and know how helpful medicine can be.